25 SIGNS YOU MAY BE CANADIAN: 1. You’re not offended by the term “HOMO MILK”. 2. You understand the phrase “Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield.” 3. You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars. 4. You drink Pop, not Soda. 5. You know that a Mickey and [...]

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: “Where’s my tractor?” —— A Black man, a Mexican and a Russian walk into a bar. ———— What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing — Q: What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A: A pilot. ——- Three blokes [...]

What more can I say folks, the title says it all!   Allan

HELLO!                       AHHHH!                         This is an actual picture of me and my dad when I was a kid!                         New Seat Belt [...]

By Joe Burton 1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit? Unique Up On It. 2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit? Tame Way. 3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ? They Take The Psychopath 4. How Do You Get Holy Water? You Boil The Hell Out Of It 5. What [...]

Three Ladies in a Sauna THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. ‘THAT WAS MY PAGER,’ SHE SAID. I HAVE A MI-CROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF [...]

The Mrs. herself was having breakfast this morning, when your humble writer asked a question for which there was no immediate answer. In her wisdom she suggested I Google it, but due to the fact that she was still half asleep her answer was that I should “Gurgle it!” For some reason we both thought [...]

Dear Readers; I didn’t have a lot of time this morning, so I just put in a bunch of short jokes! Allan -Why is sex like a game of bridge? – You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand. -On a cold, cold night two bulls are standing in a field. One [...]

We all read stupid stuff on the Internet, and we all read weird stuff on the Internet. Matter of fact, we all read just about anything ya can imagine on the Internet, so I wonder why I am writing about this hum-drum little thing that I just ran across? Maybe it’s because it’s so simple [...]

One of the members of the ‘ Perspective Research Department’ gave me this story today, and they swear it is true! Seems a guy tried to hold up a bank but the teller he was holding up ran away…………………….. ! SO! Our hapless hero left the bank and went home. Well, he tried to. This [...]

This will teach you to never mess with a car full of old broads! And since this is Oscar night on TV, here are some memorable moments from Billy Crystal!

Dear Readers; The younger net surfers have a certain vocabulary, so I think it’s about time we middle-aged and older folks have our own symbols too! WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again WTP: Where’s The Prunes? WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil GGLKI: Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In ATD: At The Doctor’s BFF: Best Friend Farted BTW: [...]

Dear Readers; Your long suffering writer gets all sorts of letters during the day …………………. some good, some bad, some we’re not sure what! Then there are people like this guy, who was commenting on last weekend’s ‘Sunday Morning Funnies! He obviously has us confused with The Globe and Mail. Submitted on 2012/02/16 at 10:21 [...]

Faulty translations make Japan one of the most humorous and downright weirdest places in the world, and we love them for it. Take, for example, this sign, found in a popular shopping district in downtown Osaka. An advertisement for a “fuckin’ sale” at Gallerie (which appears to sell handbags and women’s clothing) has been making [...]

In the continuing debate on old age pensions, in order to save the  economy, Harper will announce next week that he  is ordering the immigration department to start deporting  old people (instead of illegals) to lower Canada  Pension Plan and Old Age Security  costs. Seems old people are easier  to catch, and will not remember [...]

Dear Readers; For years, the advertising industry has wrestled with a fundamental, metaphysical question: Can images of breasts be used to sell things? The investigation continues, but the ‘Perspective on Canada’ Research Department has concluded that the bigger the breasts, the more stuff you can sell. Stay tuned while we look into at this further!

Dear Readers; On behalf of Canadians everywhere, I’d like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven’t been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry. I’m sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron, but it wasn’t nice of us to point it [...]

Dear Readers; News today from down south in Arizona that Coconino County Sheriff’s Office spokesman Gerry Blair says 44-year-old Martin Batieni Kombate was arrested in Flagstaff last week and was scheduled for release today on his own recognizance. But when detention officers wanted to escort him out, Kombate said he  was staying because he couldn’t [...]

I once was on a plane where I was served by an obviously homosexual male flight attendant. At one point, he bounced over to where I was sitting and announced “The Captain has asked me to announce that he will be landing the big scary plane shortly, so if you could just put up your [...]