Dear Readers: Well the Gay Secret Police are at it again.

These son-of-a-bitches just can’t leave things alone!

An online campaign started by Chicago resident Lair Scott on Change.org is pressuring the Sesame Street Workshop to “Let Bert & Ernie get married on Sesame Street.” “We are not asking Sesame Street to do anything crude or disrespectful,” reads the petition. “Let us teach tolerance of those that are different.”

However, Sesame Street Workshop will not go ahead with the idea because the characters that were developed about 40 years ago aren’t gay.

“Bert and Ernie are best friends,” reads a statement from Sesame Street Workshop in response to the campaign. “They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves.” The statement continues to say that, “they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation.”

This is not the first time the street so many children grow up watching has been in the news for its stance on a major issue. In 2006, in response to rising childhood obesity rates, the Cookie Monster came out saying that cookies are only “a sometimes snack” and that he also eats fruits.

Scott tells ABC that his goal is to have 20,000 people sign the petition. After three days, the petition had reached almost a quarter of its goal. If Bert and Ernie are not gay and do not marry, Scott is hoping Sesame Street will introduce a gay or lesbian character.

(I bet we could get a million telling Scott to mind his own business!  20,000 is about 2% of a million, and that’s the ratio of queers to straights in the country!)

To hell with Scott folks, Bert and Ernie are not going to be pressured into turning gay. They were born straight and like it that way………., so no crusading faggot is going to force them into become homosexual.

Besides, Bert’s mother would have a heart attack!